You won’t be reading this any way, so what the fuck.

Why are You here?

What is it you Desire, as my favorite character of all times would say, Lucifer.

Why do you think it is the devil that asks that question? So i will be writing a post solely on that topic, more specifically, on the topic of Lucifer, the show. Because, it’s fucking genius.

But for now,  i’m just contemplating the purpose of life. It didn’t turn out the way i planned, ( i guess that’s just the problem, “the way planned”). So what is the plan Dude? I have my passions, i have my Why, (holy shit i’m so fed up with that crap – currently). It’s not easy! It’s not a matter of “decide on what you want and do it”! No! It’s not enough. You gotta have cheerleaders. 

See, i’m no influencer, if you check my instagram account, which is obviously awesome although not completely naked, i only have around 600 followers. I’m not hip or cool or anything like that, i don’t have the “right” people around me that will lift me up to the sky praising my ass for whatever shit i create, oh by the way, i do create my stuff, my classes, my teachings, my words, this shitty blogpost (i assure you it’s not my best work, but the photo is amazing).

I was sitting with one of my awesome creative friends yesterday discussing the story of our lives. If he gets any more ideas, he’ll explode. I’m just tiered of creating for the time being. Sharing my work, has been misunderstood as here-take-my-ideas-and-please-don’t-give-cred-for-them. Yeah yeah, ideas are to be shared and spread and to inspire others, but man, stealing is something else. The first is an offering, the latter is taking without permission.

Any how, i’ve been doing my work, spreading my ideas, looking for troops to work and be creative with, not working so well. Please know, i am so good at what i do! I’ve got testimonials.

I’ve always seen myself as a leader, the one at the gates opening them for everyone else, the sore spot is, that i thought i could be part of what i create and inspire to, but it seems i always have to find new paths to take. I’m making a ruckus, as my favorite of them all, Seth Godin, says. But this ruckus, while taking off, is always leaving me behind. In a sense, i’ve always been humble about it, sort of, but fuck that. It’s not working. So probably, i’ve just been stupid. 

I’m a teacher y’all, but firstly i’m a student, fucking things up most of the time, trying new tings, climbing new mountains. Trying to learn from my mistakes and getting myself back into the ring, again. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with my self-confidence or self-esteem. If anything is intakt, then there you have it. And i got courage and vulnerability written all over me Bréne. However, there are a lot of you bitches tryin’ to tell me that i ain’t all that and that i should change or know my worth – like i don’t? This is called projections. Please don’t project your low self-esteem onto me. I’ve realized my naiveté has tricked me into thinking they/you, whoever, actually care. Baby girl… wake up sweetie.

I’m a teacher. What do i teach, if i don’t fuck up? If i don’t learn? 

Exactly.

 So let’s keep moving bey, we’re in this together, we creative ones are being pushed to the edge, kept on the safe side so we don’t obstruct the current order, we have to keep moving, it is our purpose, or we will die a slow and boring death. We have to create, we have to try. Somewhere, sometime, people will listen, our hearts will reach out, and we will touch the ones like us, the ones on the wild side, the loving fearless ones. We have to keep going, there are those who’ve done it, who are doing it. Man, we’re doing it ourselves in silence, we just gotta make it loud. Let’s be inspired! We’re not mainstream, we’re the originals (not as in the vampires of the series with the same name). Let’s be fearless.

We are the wild ones peep. Don’t slow down.

Love // Alex

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