Crazy Lovely Cool
And f*cking Divine
Off balance? Great! Enjoy the ride.
Holy f*ck! What a ride. Tearing up belief systems and standards is probably the most arduous endeavor i've been part of. Knowing the resistance, and challenges involved, would i have chosen this same path again? Hmm, tricky one. Let it go unsaid. It's not even an alternative. I suggest, not talking about it.
My teacher says, don't be convinced of anything. Keep your mind and heart open. Just allow yourself to be in a state of questioning, allow for the surprise. Really? This is a difficult spot to be in. I don't like surprises. Nobody likes surprises, unless it's those pleasant ones that we've ordered and anticipated (you're going like, "that's not a surprise", yeah exactly). We're not talking about those here. Surprise?What is that state? It's nothing, that's what it is, a state of nothing. No mind. It's exhausting, and you need to lay down for a while afterwards, because mind hates nothing, uncategorized. The mind wants something.
And what are we doing in practice? Asking for it. Wide open attention. How much attention are we prepared to offer up? How much is one prepared to endure, for transformation to happen. You know the saying, "she won't go looking for a lake, unless her hair is on fire" (otherwise known as painful frustration). Don't know who said it first, but my friend Kira Sloane has said it to me a few times. Change happens in the hot spot. She loves you baby (who?), all the sweet and nasty. It's all divine.
Whatever brings us to practice is good. It's worthy of attention. Wherever that might be. Let's not assume anything. Surprise, wonder, awe (as in awesome), requires an out-of-the-ordinary mindful attention. And when we ask for something new, something different, something, let's say... transforming, well buckle up darling!
I got you babe! I gotcha!